One Moment Please! Is your Only Child happy?

Happiness is... decorating cupcakes!

I read an article recently in our local paper titled "Happy children get all the breaks - including a bigger salary". I thought about two people I knew who suffered the high tax bracket migraine in New Zealand, and pondered on what I knew of their childhood....

One of them is the youngest of five children (Mr A, 44) - with an abusive, awkward and privileged childhood. The other is an Only Child (Mr B, 45) whose first thoughts when asked about his childhood are, "...embarrassingly abundant, and a bit redundant to be honest". Hmm.

I asked these two high earners, "Were you guys happy as kids?".

Mr A said, "Yeah, I was happy, we had everything - possessions and people, and I enjoyed it. I also knew things were not always 'right' with my family...but I was happy most of the time."

Happiness is... meeting Winnie the Pooh!

Mr B (an Only Child) said, "I guess I lived in a state of weird happiness a lot." [I inquired what he meant by "weird happiness"] "Ahh you know, it seemed like my Mother's sole purpose in life was to make me happy; And I was."

According to Doctor De Neve and Professor Oswald of University College London and Warwick University respectively, even with other life factors taken in to account - one's happiness levels as a child "clearly determined" if they would command the big bucks as adults. Furthermore, the study wasn't just analysed over 900 or 9000 people; A total of 90,000 people were analysed. 

The Doctor and Professor determined that even within sibling groups - the siblings who were happier as children, out-earned their siblings who were less happy as children.

So, how is this research relevant to Only Children? I think that as parents of Only Children we can be comfortable and reassured that our ability to amplify some of the things that children get huge happiness from is a good thing. Perhaps you can afford to take your child on spectacular trips once a year? Perhaps you can indulge your Only Child's toy collector spirit? Perhaps you can spend hours helping your Only Child create their model airplane? Whatever it is, if it makes them happy - it's a good thing!

The research also indicates that with or without siblings, children can experience vastly different happiness levels - so at those times your Only Child does the 'I wonder what it would be like with a little sister/brother' thing, just give them a warm nod and smile. Or, invite that well behaved girl or boy from school over once in awhile...

Happiness is... meeting Princess Belle and Princess Snow White!

And ask yourself, what makes ________ (insert child's name) happy?

I have asked myself the same question about my Only Child. And, the top three things that make her happy don't involve money at all - but they involve a lot of my time; Which incidentally, because I only have one child - I have a lot to give.