One Moment Please! Got kids? You can help then....

"How many Kids do you have?" - "Don't be so precious petal".

Tigger has many children here - different Mums obviously!

So the comment, "How many kids do you have?" was uttered by National Party Member of Parliament Maggie Barry recently, when Labour MP Jacinda Ardern was debating the issue of extending paid parental leave with her in parliament. It is a hot issue when touched upon, as the issue of paid parental leave affects many productive working families in New Zealand. However, the debate took a somewhat catty turn, when Barry attempted to use Ardern's childless status against her.  It is true, Ardern is childless, and interestingly enough, Barry has an Only Child.

Now, this comment and the implication of the comment - that if one does not have children, one is not qualified to comment on issues pertaining to children - caused a slight wave of offense among liberals and women who have reached a certain age, and have remained childless.

And it got me to thinking about Barry, and her comments... 

As parents, we all know that feeling when you suddenly realize that you had no idea what parenting was going to be like - until you had kids (or as my friend likes to say, "before it's too late!"). It's that realization that you were living an illusion of life, an illusion of life without responsibilities, a life with sleep ins, a life with spontaneity and frivolity, and a life of hand-them-back relative's kids. Such that, if you come to this realization, you realize you knew nothing about children and their care and maintenance - until you had them!

Before you had kids, there was no chalk on the concrete!

Before you had kids, you had no idea the guilt you would feel of being in the same house with them and not playing with them, not being engaged for every thrilling step of the block tower, or every funny part of The Lion King. Before you had kids, you didn't realize the worry and angst you would experience when the little one has a fever above 38 degrees. 

Having children is a completely new experience that studying four years at University could never prepare you for.

Then, I purvey the comments of 'mediaticians' and political analysts who berated Barry for her comments: "So does that mean only lawyers can comment in the house on legal issues, and only MPs who have a degree in Veterinary science can comment on animal health issues?". And I see the point these analysts and commentators are trying to make - but I don't think animal health issues are comparable to raising children.

You see, and it is an unfashionable view I know (Hey, I'm a progressive conservative and I have a degree in politics - being out of fashion is no problem to me), but I absolutely agree with Barry. I don't like people on the street  or relatives giving me advice about kids, when they have none of their own. I can understand childless individuals sharing their ideas on parenting and how they would raise them if they had children - but until they reproduce, it is only an idea - and an untested one at that.

Jacinda Ardern - Maggie Barry

Children are an absolute labor of love, emotion, work, pain, happiness, money, spirituality... and the list goes on. Whilst we elect politicians to make decisions for us in our 'best interests', when it comes to family policy, I would expect a fair few people in the policy process to have had children. Otherwise, as Barry stated, our policy makers are drawing conclusions solely from text books. And we don't want that. Do we?