One Moment Please! Motherhood - 100% From Concentrate

And Saturation Point Can Kick In...

From this fertile soil, only one seed bloomed.

Now, there's no scientific basis to that percentage point, but it feels right. So we'll stick with it.

There are times when I think it is easier with one child for various reasons - time, money, quality one on one attention etc. Then there are times when I think it might be a little bit more work when I hear the well used verse: "It's easier with two because they can entertain each other". And when the Only Child and I are acting out the fourth wedding between Barbie and Ken in less than a week, sometimes that verse rings in my ears. Loudly. On repeat.

So, over a Mochachino I tossed this idea in my head. It should be easier with one child, but with one child you can do more. And you do. You can provide more, so you do. You can pay more attention, so you do. There's more of you to go around, so you spread yourself entangled in their Only Child life. You try to be the Mother (or Father), the sister, the brother, the friend, the fairy godmother, the toy merchant, the tutor, the chauffeur, the chef, the psychologist, the horticulturist - and lately I've been the nail manicurist.

I think to myself, if I had more than one child I would definitely do less in the way of concentrated attention on one child. My mothering would be 'diluted' - and I think I would pay more attention to myself and my career? You know, the woman within (gosh that sounds strange).

An Only Child with a large section of beach to herself

I think I would rely on siblings as a kind of 'crutch', a 'wheelchair' for me during stressful days. The siblings would take care of the nail manicures, the play mates, the screenplay for doll role-play, and possibly helping with some of the practicalities of parenting and family.

Recently, I have heard an old chemistry lecturer's voice in my head, "...and here we reach saturation point". I never paid attention in Chem Lab - so cannot remember anything else (switched to Political Studies eventually - thank goodness). But I do remember saturation point was when no more of a substance could be absorbed. 

Hmm. Could it be that with an Only Child, there is a concern that Mum and Dad can do too much? Perhaps our wonderful one on one parenting can become so concentrated, that we reach Mummy (or for our U.S. readers, Mommy) saturation point. That's right, 'Mummy saturation point' - where one can no longer absorb anymore of their Only Child in to their life. And this is not a bad thing, but I guess it's a point where we should reflect on our Only Child's resilience to entertain and educate themselves...

And more importantly, to distance ourselves a little; Without guilt. *Shuddering as I write* Don't you hate that 'G' word! It should be banned from the parenting vernacular.

So, what's my point? Even though we have a lot more time for our Only Child than those who have two or three children, it doesn't mean we need to use every moment and resource on them. But because we have one, if you want to do that - you can. 

And besides, it's a good thing to be suffering from 'Only Child absorption' - as opposed to 'self-absorption'; Which is a totally different post altogether...