I Want That One! A book for Dads that is Dad-friendly!

A book destined to be stained with coffee

I've always looked at books for Dads as being slightly weird. I'm not sure why I would think that, but there has always been something cringe worthy about them. The idea of turning Dad in to 'Mr Perfect Father' has always seemed unrealistic to me. Dads are Dads - bumbling, fun, sometimes grumpy, sometimes the fumbling fool - but generally the treasured relief from 'Mother Dearest'. 

So nice then to see a refreshing and realistic book come out from Ian Grant. If you are in New Zealand you will know of Grant as a parenting expert who can often be heard on varying radio stations in New Zealand - or running The Parenting Place. If you are from outside New Zealand then you will still appreciate the wisdom communicated through this book.

Fathers who dare win is a very palatable book - easy to read, without the dumming down of many of it's contemporaries. And also, in my opinion, without the liberal attitude to kids these days - you know how it goes, 'little _____ (insert child's name) doesn't like homework, so we don't do it' - you know, without that nonsense.

There are chapters on relevant issues like character building, getting to know a new baby, how to help your children understand anger, and growing happy children. As the Mother of a six year old Only Child (a girl) I am really starting to notice how much influence her Father's action or inaction can have on her. For this reason I really tested this book against some situations we have faced recently - and the advice given by Grant was and is incredibly helpful, but more than that, the advice helped to give us some clarity. After all, your Only Child is your first child! It's a total learning experience!

Importantly, I found this book to echo some good old fashioned 'common sense' that we seem to have lost while we have been surfing Facebook and checking our iphones.... And yes, I know that common sense means different things to different parenting philosophies and cultures, but there are some things that don't go out of fashion - no matter where you are, and what you do. 

Read the words: BE CLEAR ABOUT DISCIPLINE!

The book Fathers who dare win reminds me of the roles we play in our childrens' lives, and how that can affect their character as they grow in to young adults.

A great read!

Check out Fathers who dare win

I want that One! Bear Grylls new book!!!

Mud, Sweat and Tears

A great read for fans!

When Bear Grylls' new book arrived in the post - a few kids who were over for a play-date with my Only Child ran over and yelled, "It's Bear. It's Bear!".... after looking through the pages the six and seven year olds realized that every page wasn't a picture, and then subsequently carried on with their games outside.

Bear Grylls - adventuring star of The Discovery Channel's Man Vs Wild series - has written a great book about his childhood and his subsequent progress to global survival stardom! 

Easy to read!

There are so many anecdotes and stories Grylls shares with his readers - from girls, to high school, to meeting his wife. But what we found the most interesting was his chapters on his SAS trials and tribulations. This is definitely a book for a Bear Grylls fan - who is at least 12 years old. 

There are a good amount of pictures in it - some great ones of Bear when he was a young lad. Who knew he went to Eton??? 

What was most curious and fantastic is that Bear 'saved' his sister Lara from a life of Only Childom... His sister Lara recounts how lonely she was growing up as the Only Child, and how she had complained to her Mum and Dad that she was lonely... 

I really do recommend this book to Bear Grylls fans, and to all those young teen kids who are inspired by the outdoors and exploration. Grylls teaches kids to stand up for their beliefs and to keep going!

What an inspiring guy!

Check out Bear Grylls website

One Moment Please! Two Teenage Only Children talk!

Teen Chat With The Only Child

Looking at the world through a teenager's eyes...

The Only Child was lucky enough to have 15 minutes of two teenage Only Children's time (one girl and one boy). One of them is an Only Child with a single Mother, and one of them is an Only Child with Mum and Dad. Both teenagers go to an excellent High School - which has high academic selection criteria. So they are both pretty good at achieving great grades!

The point of our chat was to see a teenage perspective on being an Only Child, and how their personal life experience of being an Only has made them feel so far.

Their names have been changed to protect their 'coolness' - so we will call them Hansel and Gretel.

The Only Child: Hey Thanks Guys for this chat, so what has it been like being an Only Child?


Hansel: It's been good. I don't know life any other way really - it's always been Mum and me. It's been more lonely for my Mum I think, but otherwise, life's been pretty good for me! Best moment was receiving my car for my 16th birthday - that rocked!

Gretel: I always felt hard done by being an Only Child when I was younger. I used to look at my friend's Mums who would get pregnant, and I would think, 'why can't my Mum have another baby?'. I guess I have kinda been resentful of my Mum at times.

The Only Child: Okay, Gretel that's gotta be a difficult emotion to deal with growing up. Did you ask your Mum why she didn't have another child?

Gretel: Yeah. I asked her heaps of times. Each time she said that she was just enjoying life with me and my Dad. So, yeah. I definitely want at least two kids when I have children one day.

Hansel: I have never wanted to ask my Mum why she didn't want any more children. She's worked hard in her career [his Mother is a respected Lawyer], and I guess being the only son I have been protective of her. Probably more than my mates are with their Mums.

The Only Child: Okay, you guys have two really differing views on being an Only Child. I wonder, did you guys feel like you had more quality time with your parents compared to your friends?

Hansel: Hell yeah! I remember Mum finishing work and coming straight home to get me from school, take me to soccer practice, then go out to our favorite restaurant heaps growing up. I was really in to sport, and Mum would take me to national games, and nearly every week she would stay for my entire soccer practice and watch. When I was 8, that was so important to me.

Gretel: I guess so. Mum would take me to the salon with her, and we would go clothes shopping together a lot. She was always there to make me afternoon tea after school, and we always had a home cooked dinner. But, I felt like I was her project. All of the attention on me felt like huge pressure sometimes. And it's even worse now that I'm 17.

Oh, so hard being an Only Child...

The Only Child: Really? Why is it worse now that you are 17?

Gretel: Well, because there is no one else to back me in the house. It's me against Mum and Dad. My friends have their older or younger brothers to help comfort them when they are at home, but I have no one. The worst is when Mum and Dad confiscated my cellphone and I wasn't allowed to use the internet.

Hansel: I understand what Gretel's saying. As an Only Child you do feel like you have no ally against your parents.



The Only Child: I understand. What were some good things about being the Only Child?

Gretel: There were lots of good things.

Hansel: Yeah. You name it - I got it. If something was super expensive, then Mum might make me wait for a couple of months, but on the whole I guess I had a childhood where everything I wanted I got.

Gretel: *laughing* Actually, yeah, this reminds me of one Christmas where I got like the entire cateloge of Sylvanian Families toys. My girlfriends were so jealous, they couldn't believe I could get everything. But it wasn't that fun playing with them, unless a friend was over playing with me.

Hansel: It was good to have Mum's whole focus on me. I would actually worry sometimes if she had a boyfriend that she would have another child. I didn't want that! No way!

Gretel: I loved that I had a really close relationship with my Mum and Dad. Sometimes it was pressure related. But I feel on a different level with my parents, than my friends do with theirs. I think it's a better level, as long as you have a breather from time to time.


The Only Child: Okay, so last question before you go, did you want a brother or sister?

Gretel: Yes, I did.

Hansel: No way! I was the 'man'.


The Only Child: Thanks guys! And be grateful that you didn't end up as my Only Child!


Gretel and Hansel: *forced laugh*

Lets Go There! Who dunnit?

Auckland Museum's The Poisoners Exhibition: everyone loves a good whodunit!

I have fond memories of  playing games like Cluedo and watching old-style whodunit programs at my Nana's house when I was a little girl, so when the invitation came to view The Poisoners Exhibition at Auckland Museum, there was no tardiness in my RSVP. My Only Child was not so sure at first.

That was until she saw the promotional poster, the creepy character posters, and the fact that she was going to have to solve a whodunit by piecing together clues - that is a big responsibility for a five year old, and one she took on proudly and gladly. 

So, what to expect? Well, some unhinged person has killed Professor Felix Splicer (a brilliant Scientist we are told) and they have been creative in their killing by using an object out of Auckland Museum's Natural History Collection. There are four main suspects for the creative culling, and to give you and your Only Child a head start - here they are:

Toxica Fay Tully

A gorgeous hoop skirt wearing wine sipping individual - think Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous (minus the cigarette of course). The Only Child and I did love Toxica's antique looking bed in the Exhibition, and her fashionable use of Ivy. 

Alain Sharky Cousteau

A Marine Biologist who discovered a new type of fish with the help of the deceased. Apparently a squabble over naming rights could of been an issue. The exhibition features some of Sharky's bottled dead marine creatures - and a rather large squid lying in a glass coffin. 

Dr Helix Splicer
A very weird demented looking Professor - who was also the deceased's brother. You take a walk through Dr Helix Splicer's lab in the exhibition, and that is an eye-opener in itself. My Only Child was fascinated with what appeared to be green glug plugging up Dr Splicer's lab sink. It did appear to be reminiscent of a 'cake' she had made with her friend during a past play-date at our house...

Anastasia Nastie Van Abs
A Renowned wild life expert who loves killing animals, and seems very Lara Croft, Tomb Raider-ish.Just on sight, my Only Child said that 'Nastie' could not have done this heinous murder - cause, "she's a girl Mummy". This is little girl logic at it's best.

You have to visit Auckland Museum this Summer - Entertain and Educate! (Oh, there's a great little shop and cafe too - good excuse for Mummy and Daddy's coffee break...)

Auckland Museum The Poisoner's page

Open during the Christmas and Summer holidays: 10am - 5pm (we'll be back!)

One Moment Please! 3 more seconds and I'll put you in handcuffs!

Well, that's what happened to this girl...

Salecia Johnson, 6, tantrum thrower. (Picture AP)

So, you may have heard of Salecia Johnson recently. Yes? No? Well, she is a six year old girl who threw a major tantrum at her school in Georgia (U.S.). So major, that the school's powers that be decided to call the police. Salecia was handcuffed just like any other arrest - and two charges of simple battery and property damage were filed.

Remember Salecia is six, not sixteen...

When I first heard this story I didn't react like some others - which was to say, 'how could they do that to a six year old!?'. More, I was happy to hear that some strong discipline was given out to an unruly child. Now, I'm not saying what happened to Salecia was right or wrong, but I like that there are schools in the world willing to make a strong statement to little sh*t kids. And I say 'little sh*t kids' unashamedly. 

Salecia's Mum and Dad - not impressed.

The Only Child has had her fair share of tantrums and unruly episodes - but those are generally limited to super tired moments or very short bursts of fantasy - where I have somehow perpetuated the fantasy that she has any say over Mummy and Daddy's life. However, she has never had the audacity to display any disrespect to other authority figures in her life - her Teacher, Piano Teacher, Principal - and as far as I'm told, to any of her friend's parents.

So, what did Salecia do at school that warranted the principal calling the police? She apparently assaulted the principal by throwing a shelf and striking the principal in the leg, jumped on a paper shredder, and tried to break a frame made of glass. It is said Salecia also tore things off the wall, and decided to throw some books and toys as well - for good measure. When the police arrived, they noted that Salecia was lying on the ground screaming and crying. 

Salecia's family have said that the handcuffs were so tight on Salecia's wrists, and that little Salecia was very shaken up by the experience. As the Mother of a six year old myself, I can imagine the scariest thing being the placing of handcuffs on a little girl's hands - the physical restriction of your body by strangers would be quite terrifying I'd imagine; For any age group.

I sympathize with Salecia's parents, while at the same time I am someone who doesn't see anything wrong with shock tactics to enforce good behavior in children - and used effectively, I do believe it works. For example, the Only Child had a kleptomaniac little friend once who liked to enter other children's lunch boxes. After some discussion back and forth about this (the Only Child said that the cookie was a very yummy one and her friend couldn't help it), I let the Only Child know that I would happily ring the police and have them meet with her if I ever heard that she partook in any of this kleptomania. I also let her know what happens to little people who grow in to big people who steal - namely jail, no money, loss of friends etc. Consequently, she began giving her friend sermons about what happens to big people who open other people's lunch boxes...

This school had enough!

If Salecia's tantrum throwing has been an ongoing thing, then I would totally support the ringing of the police to give the little trouble-maker a shock. If it was a one-off, then obviously ringing the boys in blue doesn't seem that fair. However, I also don't believe it's fair for parents to raise their children with no respect and no manners. The number of times the Only Child has had play dates with little angels who have had rude mouths astounds me - and 100% of these rude children have parents who I know do not have a strong or at least a firm stance on discipline. And, they are happy with that - they are not interested in working full-time and spending the small amount of quality time they have with their child schooling them in the art of societal etiquette. 

Fair enough.

Just be aware that a parent's lack of discipline at home, could mean increased discipline away from home, from others.

A video from CNN about the arrest

One Moment Please! Is your Only Child happy?

Happiness is... decorating cupcakes!

I read an article recently in our local paper titled "Happy children get all the breaks - including a bigger salary". I thought about two people I knew who suffered the high tax bracket migraine in New Zealand, and pondered on what I knew of their childhood....

One of them is the youngest of five children (Mr A, 44) - with an abusive, awkward and privileged childhood. The other is an Only Child (Mr B, 45) whose first thoughts when asked about his childhood are, "...embarrassingly abundant, and a bit redundant to be honest". Hmm.

I asked these two high earners, "Were you guys happy as kids?".

Mr A said, "Yeah, I was happy, we had everything - possessions and people, and I enjoyed it. I also knew things were not always 'right' with my family...but I was happy most of the time."

Happiness is... meeting Winnie the Pooh!

Mr B (an Only Child) said, "I guess I lived in a state of weird happiness a lot." [I inquired what he meant by "weird happiness"] "Ahh you know, it seemed like my Mother's sole purpose in life was to make me happy; And I was."

According to Doctor De Neve and Professor Oswald of University College London and Warwick University respectively, even with other life factors taken in to account - one's happiness levels as a child "clearly determined" if they would command the big bucks as adults. Furthermore, the study wasn't just analysed over 900 or 9000 people; A total of 90,000 people were analysed. 

The Doctor and Professor determined that even within sibling groups - the siblings who were happier as children, out-earned their siblings who were less happy as children.

So, how is this research relevant to Only Children? I think that as parents of Only Children we can be comfortable and reassured that our ability to amplify some of the things that children get huge happiness from is a good thing. Perhaps you can afford to take your child on spectacular trips once a year? Perhaps you can indulge your Only Child's toy collector spirit? Perhaps you can spend hours helping your Only Child create their model airplane? Whatever it is, if it makes them happy - it's a good thing!

The research also indicates that with or without siblings, children can experience vastly different happiness levels - so at those times your Only Child does the 'I wonder what it would be like with a little sister/brother' thing, just give them a warm nod and smile. Or, invite that well behaved girl or boy from school over once in awhile...

Happiness is... meeting Princess Belle and Princess Snow White!

And ask yourself, what makes ________ (insert child's name) happy?

I have asked myself the same question about my Only Child. And, the top three things that make her happy don't involve money at all - but they involve a lot of my time; Which incidentally, because I only have one child - I have a lot to give.

Having a baby is a good time to man up!

A reasonably light book for a heavy topic!

I was delighted to receive a copy of Stefan Korn's, Scott Lancaster's, and Eric Mooij's recent book Dad's Guide to Pregnancy for Dummies. I had heard about their website DIYFather.com through a friend, but I had never taken the step to venture any further... I probably should have, or at least got my Mr to head over there...

And hey, for those of us who are doing the pregnancy thing only once - we may as well make the most of it!

I guess my first impression of the book is that it is very much a 'man's book' - if I may be so un-PC... almost like a tool box for the modern Dad-to-be. Very practical and to the point - bullet point to be exact.

Chapters in the book cover all trimesters, prep before the birth, during the birth, and most importantly - after the birth, when we all know the real work begins.

A colorful pen helps point the way

I was especially intrigued by page 14's "Trading in your lifestyle (but not the sports car)" where the authors talk about the points in a man's life that will inevitably change. I read these points with amusement and encouragement thinking about how nice it would be if the men reading these paragraphs would actually follow through... However, it's reassuring that a book meant for Dads-to-be give them an indication of the variety of topics of their other half's nagging for the next five years at least...

Another familiar good piece of advice I found on page 21 was the point about endurance. "Sometimes the only way to cope with a situation is to endure it". This was familiar to me, as I have only learnt that through the years of parenting - endurance is survival! Smiling at the end of endurance is success!

As the book says, "A good time to man up"

So, I totally recommend this book to all Dads-to-be  who may not have a lot of time on their hands before the birth, or Dads who just might need some gentle encouragement in to the whole 'bringing new life in to the world' thing.

And when it comes to the unknown, knowledge can be power.

Visit DIYFather.com if you are so inclined.

Dad's Guide to Pregnancy for Dummies

I want that One! What to read when you're knocked up...

A pregnancy book captured by My Little Ponies

I was quite excited when I heard New Zealand personality Jaquie Brown had written a book called I'm not fat, I'm pregnant. The book was, "The Ultimate guide to getting pregnant, being pregnant and surviving life with a crazy but wonderful newborn". That's what it says on the cover. 

Being a Mum who absolutely loved every minute of my indulgent, lazy, fat, spoilt pregnancy... I thought it would be nice to trek down memory lane and see if the advice and anecdotes in the book would have been helpful to the 'me' six years ago - pre Only Child.

The first thing that stood out to me was the humorous and witty tone of the book - I appreciated that, and I could relate to the awkward moments one experiences, but can't necessarily articulate. I remembered many moments with my midwife where I would retell a funny pregnancy fact or moment I experienced, and her reaction being somewhat indifferent (and not laughing!). Brown's book doesn't view these wonderful first time experiences as something women have been doing for 100s of years - she affords first-time pregnancy and conception all the detail and wonder that they deserve. 

Week by week - in glorious detail!

I loved that the book was set out week by week of each trimester - and in Brown's book, there are four trimesters. Of all the pregnancy material I was given or bought during my pregnancy, I always read the material that went week by week. When you are a first time Mum-to-be, everything is week by week. People talk about what to expect in a cumulative sense, and what you will feel, but everything is incremental and individual. And Brown's inclusion of her own pregnancy diary illustrates that. 

Broadly speaking, the book is a very reassuring, and friendly pregnancy bible for all new Mums-to-be. Comfort reading if you like. Not comfort as in 'everything is going to be okay for everyone', but comfort as in, it doesn't show you horrible photos of abnormalities and vast diagrams of mutation probabilities... we don't need those do we? We all know how to use google when we are pregnant and confused...

The nutritional advice is excellent, and the use of other experts' advice thrown in at the right time is a great touch. 

So, would the book have been helpful to me six years ago? Certainly. It is helpful to my sister currently. This is a good sign, as my sister is not exactly 'receptive' to advice...

Now, I would only ask that Miss Brown write a book entitled, I'm not fat, I had a baby (six years ago). I know someone who might need this currently....

Random House Publisher

We All Know What It's Like To Give Birth To Terrorists...

A handy weapon in your parenting arsenal

This website extols the phrase, "Tongue-in-cheek or foot-in-mouth! No experts, just Mums and Dads, and Only Children. "

So, when I came across a copy of Parenting Expert Nigel Latta's book Battlefield Wisdom, I turned the first page with a spoonful of cynicism and an internal voice saying  'I hate people telling me what to do - especially when it comes to parenting'.

Well, firstly, the book is small, just under 15cm in height and about 10.5cm in width - so this is a good start. And secondly, the book is composed of 40 very concise chapters. So this is not one of those brick-like parenting advice books - Thank God!

What it is though, is a companion for that little voice in every parent's head that says things and asks questions that never see the light of day. Battlefield Wisdom is like a weapon of stealth in the busy or stressed parent's arsenal of parenting weapons. For that reason, it is best left near the kettle, the telephone, or underneath your pillow. 

Here are a few of my favorite moments in the book:

Chapter 13 Dads - "Dads are great, but they can also be completely bloody hopeless... Dads forget to take hats, gloves, and coats... Dads sometimes take a while to notice that you're sick."

Chapter 3 Beware experts - "... I really do think that all these experts telling people how to raise children is a problem, maybe even the single biggest problem that parents face."

Chapter 12 Mums - "Mums are great, but they can also be a pain in the arse." (Especially love this moment)

Chapter 21 Fine young cannibals - "Hungry children eat - that's pretty much all you need to know."

Chapter 26 'I hate you' - "The 'I hate you' technique is the childhood equivalent of the 'flash-bang' explosive device that SWAT and anti-terrorist teams use..."

Battlefield Wisdom was attacked by my Only Child. She fought
this wisdom the only way she knew how... with a rainbow
colored pencil.

Latta's idea of parenting being like a 'battlefield' is extended throughout the book with references to children being akin to little terrorists. Yes, how very politically incorrect of him! But, it is probably wise to learn how to deal with  a little bit of domestic insurgency; Since, as Latta says, it is better to deal with a two year old dictator - than a 22 year old one. Indeed.

And the nice thing about the book for me, is it is good to know that the politically incorrect Latta has made the same threat I have made. You will have to read about that on page 17. Except, my Only Child did think she was going to sleep on the trampoline for the night... 

It is a great short read, and a weapon you will want to consult every now and then - but not too much! He is an Expert after all...

Nigel Latta's website
Harper Collins

Let's go! The Only Child is the Dolphin Whisperer ...

Well, that's what we told her!

This was the weather 95% of the time over our summer holiday - yes,  a lot of grey.

So, you pack your bag, find the beach towels, get a new bottle of sunscreen, update your Facebook status to something like, "we're going on summer holiday - wish you were here!". You are set. A couple of weeks of lazy fun bliss awaits.

You arrive, and it rains - storm rain. The next day it rains, and the next. You get the pattern. You are confined to a Hotel Property with other confined individuals. Boats aren't going out, and if they are - they aren't going far. Happy Holidays!

Well, one day the Boats were happy to go out and traverse the rough waters. Where are we? We are in the Bay of Islands and the Only Child really wants to see Dolphins and Orcas. I had seen Dolphins before at Seaworld when I was about 12, but I remember being bored flat there. So, maybe it would be different seeing them as an adult? Anyway, we thought we'd take a chance on the open seas...

So magical - surreal

We boarded the Dolphin Discoveries boat (the yellow boat in the top picture) not knowing what to expect. The weather was bipolar - going from bursts of sun, to storm showers and high winds. I don't go sailing or boating very often, so it was wonderful to see the islands from a different perspective. The Only Child was more interested in the massive whitewash skid marks the boat was making in the water - but that fascination passed (thank goodness).

The Captain said he was doing his best to find Dolphins in the water, but visibility was very low today. While we were waiting for the Dolphin rendezvous, the Only Child was in awe of the numerous islands that we had never seen before - Okahu, Moturua, and Urupukapuka. 

Suddenly! The Captain announced he had found Dolphins, and we all scrambled to the bow of the boat to see. Unexpectedly, I was pushing a little to make sure the Only Child got to the front of the bow. And it was worth it! 

There is a magical feeling seeing Dolphins in their natural habitat - the Only Child and I were transfixed on them diving in and out of the water. The Dolphins would disappear from time to time, so the Only Child would lean over the boat and make dolphin noises. And sure enough, they would come back - right up close to the boat. This was even more magical for the Only Child - who knew she had special powers anyway, but to see them at work, amazing!

We also had the option of swimming with the dolphins - but we both declined. But those who did said it was an 'out of body' experience. So good for them!

A bright yellow boat has got to be fun!

The Captain couldn't find any Orcas the day we went out. So it leaves a good excuse to come back.

After our dolphin whispering, we stopped at Urupukapuka Island for a bite of lunch and a touch of walking. There is so much history wound up in these islands - that the trip on the boat can be touted as fun and educational.

We stayed out on the water for about four and a half hours before coming in. The Only Child was fine being on a boat for a long time though - there was an on board cafe, so no worries with us.

Next time you are in Northland, take a boat ride out to see the dolphins, outer islands, and possibly orcas - if you're lucky!

Back on land, we felt like we had experienced a magical maritime experience, that the rain and wind couldn't hamper. As the Captain said, dolphins don't care if it's raining.

Dolphin Discovery Tours

Let's go see some old houses! And make leather!?...

Yes, it is exciting visiting some of New Zealand's historic buildings

Te Waimate Misson - a "Georgian Beauty"

One of my favorite things to do with the Only Child, is to visit some of New Zealand's historic buildings. Not every weekend, but at least two or three times a year. As you might expect, the Only Child does not share my exuberance at the antiques on display in these houses - yet! 

However, I do notice her incorporating the word 'antique' in to her vernacular.

Lovely old things for your Only Child to marvel at.

One of my favourite houses is Te Waimate Misson house - built in 1832. The Misson house is on the grounds of New Zealand's first large English-style farm. Back in the 'olden days' the Church Missionary Society wanted to show the 'uncivilized' natives how to run a farm and to live life 'their' way. Ahh, some type of micro-colonialism. So there's the extent of my history lesson on Te Waimate.

An 'olden day' shower.

Te Waimate Mission house has conserved the larder - and this is very exciting for an Only Child to see what an olden day 'fridge' looks like (I told her it was an olden day fridge - and aren't we lucky to have a big white one these days...). And there are still so many objects in the house conserved from it's time as a farm station and as a school.

Kemp House - built 1820-1821

But, our absolute favorite building is Kemp House. There is something so romantic about Kemp House, it's Victorian gardens, and it's outlook on to the peaceful Keri Keri river. Amazingly, the Kemp family kept the house in Victorian condition, and lived in it right up until the 1970s! And thank goodness they did, the Only Child got to see first hand how home life was quite different to what she has today. Though, toys are timeless - and there was a gorgeous Victorian Noah's Ark toy on the dinner table that we both spotted.

Next to Kemp house is the stone store, and opposite is Rewa's village - a reconstruction of an old Maori Village. There is tonnes of archaeology in Keri Keri, and Rewa's Village houses a few archaeological finds. But the Kemp House - Stone Store area is really a treasure for New Zealanders - it's just beautiful, interesting, and there's a great cafe next to the Stone Store called The Pear Tree. Just in case you feel the need for coffee and a muffin, or a piece of cake.

Pompallier House 1842 - named after Bishop Pompallier

But perhaps the most hands-on fun for the Only Child, was Pompallier House. Pompallier House was built as a tannery, printery, and storehouse for Bishop Pompallier. His Marist Brothers are said to have printed near 40,000 religious texts - in Maori. Curiously, the English missionaries used to refer to Pompallier as the "Anti-Christ". Him being catholic and all...

Apart from Catholicism, what Pompallier House does is take guests on a working tour of the tannery and printery. We didn't know this going in. But within 15 minutes of stepping in to the french rammed earth house,  my Only Child was 'working' leather making it smooth, and had already witnessed the animal skins that had been stripped of fat. The Only Child had learnt that animal skins were soaked in human urine in the olden days, and that the excess skin fat was used to make soap for those early folk. 

Kids making leather - your child will love it!

Also, the children get to observe and participate in the upstairs printery. The Only Child was very intrigued at the printing plates - lots of intricate little pieces. I have to admit, when I heard about Pompallier House, I wasn't that interested in seeing a printery - but when you see it in action, I bet a part of you (for at least a second) will feel like a little kid.

The Only Child's verdict on Pompallier House? "So cool!". 

Entry in to Pompallier House, Kemp House, and Te Waimate Mission House will cost you a small fee. The fee helps with the enormous preservation and conservation of these wonderful houses from the 'olden days'.

Next time you are in the Bay of Islands, or anywhere in Northland I guess - find out where the closest historic building is to you - and visit it. Children love to use their imagination, and the objects on display will keep them wondering about what the world was like before they were around...

Pompallier House is in Russell

Te Waimate Mission House is in Keri Keri

Kemp House is in Keri Keri

One Moment please... my 'Only' is smarter than yours.

The Only Child outclasses the rest when it comes to Academic stuff

Piano lessons, Violin lessons, Mandarin lessons...

I am not an Only Child myself, but I do hold a straight A degree (with awards mind you) from The University of Auckland. However, when I think back to my childhood and teen years, I do think I would have done better in whatever avenue I wanted to pursue - if I was an Only Child. And Australian parenting expert Michael Grose may agree.

Mr Grose is an expert on Parenting etc, and he is Australia's number one parenting educator. Now, I am never too fussed by what experts say - but I am always pleasantly assured when things that I think,observe or feel are echoed by experts. And I have thought for some time about the undivided attention Only Children get from their parents.

Grose says, "If self-esteem and school achievement levels are used as a barometer of a healthy, well-adjusted and desirable childhood then most parents would stop at one." Interesting and worthy of attention - though I wont go quoting Grose at my next 'Parents of the School' monthly meeting...

When you only have one child, you do have more time and money to devote to their academic career. As a parent, you pay attention to their strengths and weaknesses, and have the time and resources to prop up their weak areas, and emphasize their strengths. Even the family environment can be controlled in a way to suit what is best for the Only Child in the household. There are no other siblings 'contaminating' the optimal  house conditions for academic success.

Gosh, 'contaminating' is probably not the right word! But you get what I mean right?

Only Children are not afraid to stand out!

And it's not that parents of two, three, or four children don't actively engage and work hard on their children's academic success - it's just that their time, money and attention is divided two, three, or four ways. Quite often, a multi-child parent will devote more targeted time to their children who show academic strength, and focus on another hobby or leisure activity for those children who aren't particularly academically inclined. And this is an effective economical thing to do. My parents did it also.

It's just that when you have one child - every resource and cent can be targeted at the Only Child to be successful in school and extra-curricular activities. And there is also a contributing factor to this academic performance that Grose alludes too; It is the 'no sharing' aspect of being an Only Child.

The Only Child knows that they are the only child in the household, and know that they have 'won'- no sibling competition here thank you very much...Indeed, there is an 'it's all about me' air that I think is very beneficial to academic success - or success in any area really.

In fact, more and more, I am not so concerned that perhaps having an Only Child will mean a child who has issues with sharing or empathizing (apparently). What I have found is that other children admire an Only Child's forthright leadership attitude - Only Children are not afraid to step out on their own and be brave; And this often attracts friends/fans for the Only Child.

I guess when it comes to academic success, there is really nothing or no one that can stop an Only Child from achieving. And if there was? I am sure Mummy and Daddy would stamp it out at the earliest. Hey, they've got the time.

Michaeld Grose's website

Lets Go There!

Auckland Museum's The Poisoners Exhibition: everyone loves a good whodunit!

I have fond memories of playing games like Cluedo and watching old-style whodunit programs at my Nana's house when I was a little girl, so when the invitation came to view The Poisoners Exhibition at Auckland Museum, there was no tardiness in my RSVP. My Only Child was not so sure at first.

That was until she saw the promotional poster, the creepy character posters, and the fact that she was going to have to solve a whodunit by piecing together clues - that is a big responsibility for a five year old, and one she took on proudly and gladly.

So, what to expect? Well, some unhinged person has killed Professor Felix Splicer (a brilliant Scientist we are told) and they have been creative in their killing by using an object out of Auckland Museum's Natural History Collection. There are four main suspects for the creative culling, and to give you and your Only Child a head start - here they are:

Toxica Fay Tully

A gorgeous hoop skirt wearing wine sipping individual - think Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous (minus the cigarette of course). The Only Child and I did love Toxica's antique looking bed in the Exhibition, and her fashionable use of Ivy.

Alain Sharky Cousteau

A Marine Biologist who discovered a new type of fish with the help of the deceased. Apparently a squabble over naming rights could of been an issue. The exhibition features some of Sharky's bottled dead marine creatures - and a rather large squid lying in a glass coffin.

Dr Helix Splicer
A very weird demented looking Professor - who was also the deceased's brother. You take a walk through Dr Helix Splicer's lab in the exhibition, and that is an eye-opener in itself. My Only Child was fascinated with what appeared to be green glug plugging up Dr Splicer's lab sink. It did appear to be reminiscent of a 'cake' she had made with her friend during a past play-date at our house...

Anastasia Nastie Van Abs
A Renowned wild life expert who loves killing animals, and seems very Lara Croft, Tomb Raider-ish.Just on sight, my Only Child said that 'Nastie' could not have done this heinous murder - cause, "she's a girl Mummy". This is little girl logic at it's best.

You have to visit Auckland Museum this Summer - Entertain and Educate! (Oh, there's a great little shop and cafe too - good excuse for Mummy and Daddy's coffee break...)

Auckland Museum The Poisoner's page

Open during the Christmas and Summer holidays: 10am - 5pm (we'll be back!)