One Moment Please! One is the loneliest number...

A lonely Only Child under a chair... dressed as Snow White.

So, I was reading an article recently in one of those current-affair type magazines, and I was interested to read the number of people living alone and independently is increasing in the western world. Many reasons were thrown up, including higher incomes, higher rates of divorce and separation, and a selfish but social attitude. 

The investigative magazine put forward many individuals who were happy and content with living alone. They had the odd lonely moment, but on the whole, the benefits afforded to them by living alone, highly outweighed the benefits of living with someone. "What a bunch of selfish weirdos!", said my middle-aged colleague at the gym. Middle-aged colleague continued, "I mean, who grows up thinking, 'one day, I want to live by myself' - without a partner, without children."

Good point I guess. 

"I love my little sister". Sister is spelled creatively you see...

But I thought about my Only Child - all on her lonesome. Was she lonely all the time? No. Is she always alone? No. Does she get lonely? Sometimes, sure. But is she happy? Yes! On the odd occasion she will make reference to a make-believe little sister who doesn't exist - but when we explain the practicalities of a little sister to her (like, things wont be her way all the time), she is not that fussed about not having one.

And there are many people who have grown up in big families, who have expressed chronic loneliness. In many families there will be individuals who feel they are very different to their relatives, and yearn for relatives more 'like-minded'. 

That's because there is a difference between being lonely, and being alone. Being lonely is a horrible thing - that yearning for human company or at least a voice of comfort. For the Only Child, those lonely moments amount to the wish that there was a sibling to 'entertain' them - rather than Mum and Dad (or the TV!). This lonely moment can be (relatively) easily alleviated by introducing regular play dates with friends.

And I like to mix it up a bit. I try to invite different personality types over for play dates - a loud one, a tom boy one, and sometimes an agreeable one - this type in particular is Mummy's and Daddy's favorite. And an agreeable playmate is always easier to take to the theater, the movies, and to dine with at nice restaurants. Though, it's not a very accurate simulation of a sibling relationship is it?

But that's the thing, when faced with a lonely Only Child, remember: unlike those non-only children who had no choice who their siblings were, we can at least choose specific play mates for our Only Child! And when we are sick of them... we say, "see you next time".

So, I guess 'one' has the capacity to be a lonely number - but with some creative parenting maths, it can be the number that 'giveth' and 'taketh' away.