We All Know What It's Like To Give Birth To Terrorists...

A handy weapon in your parenting arsenal

This website extols the phrase, "Tongue-in-cheek or foot-in-mouth! No experts, just Mums and Dads, and Only Children. "

So, when I came across a copy of Parenting Expert Nigel Latta's book Battlefield Wisdom, I turned the first page with a spoonful of cynicism and an internal voice saying  'I hate people telling me what to do - especially when it comes to parenting'.

Well, firstly, the book is small, just under 15cm in height and about 10.5cm in width - so this is a good start. And secondly, the book is composed of 40 very concise chapters. So this is not one of those brick-like parenting advice books - Thank God!

What it is though, is a companion for that little voice in every parent's head that says things and asks questions that never see the light of day. Battlefield Wisdom is like a weapon of stealth in the busy or stressed parent's arsenal of parenting weapons. For that reason, it is best left near the kettle, the telephone, or underneath your pillow. 

Here are a few of my favorite moments in the book:

Chapter 13 Dads - "Dads are great, but they can also be completely bloody hopeless... Dads forget to take hats, gloves, and coats... Dads sometimes take a while to notice that you're sick."

Chapter 3 Beware experts - "... I really do think that all these experts telling people how to raise children is a problem, maybe even the single biggest problem that parents face."

Chapter 12 Mums - "Mums are great, but they can also be a pain in the arse." (Especially love this moment)

Chapter 21 Fine young cannibals - "Hungry children eat - that's pretty much all you need to know."

Chapter 26 'I hate you' - "The 'I hate you' technique is the childhood equivalent of the 'flash-bang' explosive device that SWAT and anti-terrorist teams use..."

Battlefield Wisdom was attacked by my Only Child. She fought
this wisdom the only way she knew how... with a rainbow
colored pencil.

Latta's idea of parenting being like a 'battlefield' is extended throughout the book with references to children being akin to little terrorists. Yes, how very politically incorrect of him! But, it is probably wise to learn how to deal with  a little bit of domestic insurgency; Since, as Latta says, it is better to deal with a two year old dictator - than a 22 year old one. Indeed.

And the nice thing about the book for me, is it is good to know that the politically incorrect Latta has made the same threat I have made. You will have to read about that on page 17. Except, my Only Child did think she was going to sleep on the trampoline for the night... 

It is a great short read, and a weapon you will want to consult every now and then - but not too much! He is an Expert after all...

Nigel Latta's website
Harper Collins