One Moment Please! Are you an Over Protective Mum? OPM!

OPI is a nail polish, but OPM is an Over Protective Mum.

Hovering over the face painter's shoulder.. conviction check first of course...

So, the first time your child goes on school camp or to their first school dance alone, there will be some Mums who are fine with it, and look forward to a good break; And there will be some Mums who will want to know who's there, why, how, where, what, etc...

I am good friends with both kinds of Mums and Dads - and I personally am more 'over-protective Mum' than not. I like to know who's there, what age range, what kind of activities they might do - and I also like to know that I have the option of being there if I want to.

Well, what a surprise I got recently....

My lovely Only Child came home telling me about a wonderful dance that her school is having, and lo and behold - Mums are Dads are "preferabbly not to come". "Not to come?", I said to the indifferent receptionist at our school. "Yes, there will be some teachers and committee members there to look after them", the indifferent one replied.

Yes, we are prepared for any costume party... or dance for that matter.

Hmm. A school dance for 5-8 year olds and parents are encouraged not to attend? I had never heard of a school suggesting this before. Furthermore, a parent from my daughter's class reminded me that there are some five and six year olds who would be too scared to attend without their parents. 'Yes, yes indeed' I thought.

As a matter of fact, my Only Child would be fine with her Mum and Dad not attending - but still, there are a lot of parents who really get in to things like school dances, sport meets, school camps, day trips etc - parents like me! And if you have specifically decided to have just one child - then you are only doing this little kid thing once, best to make the most of it! 

But what annoyed me more, was the assumption that the committee members who were going to be present had the same morals or standards that I did, and I need not worry. I know for a fact that the way I raise my Only Child is unique to my way!

"But that's the thing, parents who are protective and skew towards 'over protective' have control issues", said my lovely lawyer (in one of our casual conversations). Hmm... control. Yes, I have heard of it, and yes, I do enjoy it profusely... "Look at it this way, what's so bad about the alternative of not having control?", said the 60 year old lawyer.

Not having control means trusting someone else with your child - and if you are in a similar situation to me, trusting someone else with your ONLY child. I don't do this lightly, nor do I think any parent should compromise their values and standards for any authority (within the realm of legality of course).

Are there going to be lots of lollies there? How will you know if you don't go?

So, if you are over-protective, be the parent you are, and let those around you know that you are okay with who you are.

So what to do about the dance where over-protective parents were shunned? I went anyway, and sat inconspicuously in the corner watching my Only Child enjoy one of her first dances. I have many special photos, and I can say I was fully present in the moment with her.

Any regrets? None at all.

Which is more than I can say for the un-protective parents who live to regret missing out on these special times with their children.