One Moment Please! How much help do you have?

Nanny? Cleaner? Tutor? Babysitter? ?????? Personal Trainer?

A lamb roast with bacon, carrots, onions, garlic, and potatoes by me! (not my housekeeper!)

So, I was dutifully watching the Only Child's piano lesson with a few other parents and their children, when one of my daughter's class mates arrived late. The latecomer is an Only Child and is a happy lovely girl, and this day  in particular I noticed that her Mother was not with her, but another person was - "this is my nanny Julia", said the latecomer. The nanny apologized for their lateness, then sat down next to me.

I had an interesting conversation with the latecomer's nanny - the type of conversation that the latecomer's Mother would never have with me. The nanny asked me, "how much help do you have with your child?". I thought about it... not a lot!

I have a personal trainer for myself during the week - but do I have an individual to specifically help me with my child - no. Oh, I guess there's the Only Child's Dad - but we all know how much 'help' Dads are.... (joking Dads!).

The housekeeper can wipe these down...

Apparently the young latecomer's Mother had a nanny, house keeper three times a week, and a tutor come in for one hour Monday to Friday to help with the child's homework! Now, I can absolutely see how a Mum would need this help, but I thought it was curious that with an Only Child the Mother thought she needed that much help... And so did the Nanny funnily enough. Even more curious to me, was the fact that the Mother didn't work full-time or part-time - so her commitments to a boss were zero, and thus her time should be free for her child?

"It's a little bit over-kill if you ask me", said the Nanny. I affirmed that thought, but stated that different parents may need more or less help over the years, and who are we to judge etc. "Well, she doesn't need the help, she just doesn't enjoy the child-rearing", said the young German Nanny matter-of-factly. She continued, "I think some Mums just need to be honest with themselves, especially if they have had a child or children and they don't enjoy them". Oh my, the things this Nanny said!

I need a nanny!!!

I thought about it for a short time... Mums who don't enjoy their children need more help? Hmm. I employ a personal trainer at the gym I go to, because I need direction, and I like direction and guidance when I am working out. But in terms of enjoyment, it doesn't have an effect. 

So, having an Only Child, I would think I would need a lot of help if my time was consumed with work or detailed projects - but to have a lot of help when you don't do anything? If I couldn't be bothered with my Only Child at all, or the child-rearing got me down, I would definitely look at hiring help - be that a nanny, or a housekeeper.

But I guess at the end of the day, what a Mum and Dad does with their time is their business - and if they want to keep their time as efficient as possible, then long periods spent with a child does seem a 'drag'.... doesn't it? 

There are Mums and Dads with three, four, five children who don't hire any help - they cope as it is. However, just because they don't have help doesn't mean they don't need help! I'm sure we can all think of those big families where a few of the kids have obvious attention deficit issues!

I think when deciding to hire 'help', one needs to think about the pros and cons of how this 'help' will benefit your child, you, and all of you as a family unit. And be careful, I hear it's an expensive habit to break!